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A week of dumping, cooking and pleading – Tinseltown Weekly Round-Up

April 10, 2009

ORANGE FACE GETS DUMPED

lindsay

Lindsay Lohan the way she once was

Poor Lindsay — she’s at the end of her game.  No one wants her anymore — Hollywood won’t touch her with a ten foot pole and now lover Samantha has a restraining order in the works — it’s sad.  I wonder if Lindsay sits around reminiscing about the old days.  Remember the genius that was Mean Girls?  And I’m not just saying that because Tina Fey, the GENIUS of all female comic writers, wrote it.  Lindsay was a highlight in that movie — she was funny — she looked normal and she had red hair.   She must feel sad.  Sad that she made the wrong choices and ended up here instead of there.    Hollywood has shut her out and she knows it.  Now all she can do is sit around and design leggings and make appearances at beauty conventions to endorse her tan line.   That until she hears from some small director making a movie about a down and out — she needs to pull a Mickey Rourke…the kind of character that is sad and dismal and at their ends..the kind of role that won’t be flashy, but slightly under the radar…a small movie with no pay cheque, but that will lead to a lot of open doors…what she doesn’t have now.

GLAM OR EXPLOITATIVE MILEY CYRUS?

Miley Cyrus is featured on the cover of the latest Glamour magazine.   I’m a tad bothered by this — we spent last summer screaming about the rather adult photo of her for Vanity Fair.  So, explain why a 16 year old is on the cover of woman’s magazine??  Does anyone else find this bothersome?   There is the two-year relationship she had with one of the virgin- — er, Jonas Brothers, telling Glamour that it was “hard-core” and a  “a life-changing experience most people don’t have until they’re 19 or 20. ”  Really?  How hard-core can you be at 14 working for Disney??   Mmmm…   and I’m not sure who would agree with me…but did anyone else find the below pic with her father a tad creepier than the one exploiting a 15 year-old girl nearly naked?

Creepiness caught on film by Annie Leibowitz

Weekly Round-Up

In adoption news: Madonna was denied her adoption request for little Mercy James.  The Malawi courts are sticking to their guns on the law that states adoptive parents must live in the country for at least 18 months before they are granted adoption rights.  Even with her impressive 13 rooms booked for her 15 person entourage of nannies, assistants…and let’s not forget the treadmill she had flown in to her hotel.  Well, I guess she always has her 22 year-old boyfriend she could adopt…

Jessica Simpson axed from country label has to hand in the shorts

In, I think that was music she sang news: Jessica Simpson has been dropped from her Columbia Nashville label.  I guess country music wasn’t her thing either, just like pop music, acting…. But, according to Joe Simpson, Jessica was  just on “loan” to Columbia Nashville and she is still on contract with her Epic Label.  That means that Jessica will be able to go back to more important work:  screeching out more nauseating love songs, forgetting the lyrics  in concerts and begging Tony Romo to marry her.

How many calories does chicken soup have?

In what do I use as a punch line now? news: It was announced recently that Supermodel Kate Moss will be writing her own Kosher cookbook.  Really?  So, now that whole “….it would be like if a supermodel wrote a cookbook” line will cease to exist? Apparently, Kate found her kitchen and actually went in.  She has liked going in so much that she’s been cooking up kosher faves like chicken soup for boyfriend Jamie Hince almost every night {submit endless lettuce recipe jokes here}.  No word yet on whether the book will include calorie and fat count.

In guilty of  being an idiot news: I really can’t be bothered with this — except to say that only an idiot like Chris Brown would plead not guilty to a judge when a graphic photo and a detailed police report about biting and blood pooling in her mouth are circulating around town.  Goodbye career.

Brown pleads not guilty despite solid evidence against him

This post is by contributing author Rachel. To read more about Rachel, please see the Contributors page.

Photo credits: Lindsay Lohan images courtesy via abc.com; Miley Cyrus images courtesy zilipo.com and glamour.com; Madonna images courtesy via buzznet.com; Jessica Simpson images courtesy of  nashvillegab.com; Chris Brown images courtesy of the telegraph/uk;Britney Spears images courtesy of mtv.co.uk.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. April 13, 2009 4:08 pm

    Awesome post! Lindsay continues to drop off the face of coolness. I wonder what those leggings look like and if they’ll sell at Walmart like the Ashley & Mary-Kate collections did.. If Lindsay’s doing liquid leggings when everyone is now calling them passe, then I think we have to write her off big-time and possibly for ever.

    On the topic of Miley and her sleazy dad, I was so totally grossed out when I saw these photos on Lainey Gossip: http://www.laineygossip.com/Miley_Cyrus_and_Billy_Ray_Cyrus_Academy_of_Country_Music_Awards_April_2009.aspx?CatID=0&CelID=0
    What kind of father stands around looking like a washed-up biker next to his inappropriately glammed daughter? There’s something so wrong about his public appearances with her. Isn’t anyone else in the fam available to chaperone the kid? Geez!
    – Johanne

  2. April 30, 2009 10:09 pm

    Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for writing. I will certainly be coming back to your blog.

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