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The Bachelor Recap: It’s All About Opening Up

January 27, 2011

The many faces of Bachelor Brad. Clockwise from top left: disappointment, fear, desperation, and disagreement.

A cold January night, on a Monday, with the snow falling and my dog wanting to come home early from his walk…ahhh…perfect night for The Bachelor!

So, I missed the first five minutes, but my husband got me caught up, just because he didn’t want me to miss anything for the blog, but (wink wink) I know he secretly wants to watch..

Crazy Michelle woke up with a black eye, which is to say she must have done it to herself during the night. ??!! (A+ for best use of a Popsicle on The Bachelor, btw)

The Group date meets Dr. Drew

The Big date – the best date of each week is the Group Date.  This week the chosen few pay a visit to a local radio station and visit with Dr. Drew and talk about their feelings.

Then they get to OPEN UP! I love it when they use this term, because it generally means that Brad is waiting for the girls to open up, but not Brad – he is the Bachelor after all. He just gets to sit back and listen to the verbal diarrhea coming out of their mouths as if they mean it. Each girl wants to up the other girl by opening up better than the other – it’s a contest.  It’s a great contest, because the few moments they get to open up, that’s all they get to basically impress Brad.

Brit opens up on air

Tonight’s date is alllll about the “interruption” — that moment when every girl gets to sit down and talk to Brad and some other girl comes in and steals him away.  “Dr Drew opened a can of worms!” says Brad sheepishly…but loving every moment of it.

Ashley's creepy interruption

Can of worms might be right – these girls are ready to scratch and claw at each other to get their man.

Did you see the Ashley H. interruption?  Their connection, according to her, is better than anyone else’s — it might actually be creepier than everyone else’s.  Can you imagine turning around to find someone staring at you as you make out with someone? Uh …….. creeeeeppppyyyy. The worst is when they hold him hostage with the “I don’t know…maybe I should leave” whine. But at least when he decided to give the rose to someone else, Ashley H. realized what a baby she had sounded like.

Here’s my interruption — instead of Dr. Drew, they should have hired someone who could teach these girls some proper English….”likes” and “ums” are not a sentence.

The Bachelor's show therapist brings a bounty of platitudes. Meanwhile, OH on the Bachelor: "Brad, well I'm down because I'm starting to have feelings for you and it's hard with all the other girls here.." Brad: "I know how to fix that." deep throat mission

On crazy Fatal Attraction’s date – Brad tries to find out what was wrong with  Ashley H. on the date is while Michelle sits seething on the couch – truly the best drama of the night.

Ashley, of course, acts like a 10 year old child and throws in some “likes” and “I’m being emotional”  to get Brad back to wanting  her more.

Serious drama and serious heights- repel off a building, anyone?

So it would be like the best thing ever that he makes Michelle repel down the side of a building!

She does it, but I wanted to barf the whole time she was looking at Brad and then declaring her fear of this whole relationship in the hot tub. I would love to see Brad’s reaction when he watches the footage at the end of all of this. But Brad seems to really like this psycho… could be interesting.

So tough on The Bachelor: you could be crying in the living room while Brad is having a picnic out on the front steps. Life is so cruel!

So the final scenes of the night are at the rose ceremony.

Brad needs his therapist, the women break down — ah…Brad does it well. Then the moment he pulls out the basket of pillows and wine and takes Emily (or, as my Aunt calls her – Dolly Parton) with him…shoot! Those girls looked like they were going to explode.

Then they weep, he consoles them…ya da ya da ya…my computer shut down at this point because it wasn’t charged…so I’m watching this now on regular TV.

Our Bachelor keeps them in the game with a little lip-locking business.

In the end, the redhead is gone, sadly.

See ya later- if you didn't connect with Brad from the beginning, it's over. (What was your name again?)

The girls who no one knows their name are gone..and we so we move on like Brad.

The previews look like next week is going to be delicious! Stay tuned!

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